CRAZY ELEVATOR LADY

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I live in a not-so-new apartment building. The ‘Ground Level’ button in the one elevator doesn't light up when you press it. It works, it just doesn’t light up. People know this. So when you walk into an elevator with people in it, and no buttons look pressed, you can be sure that they are going to the ground floor. BUT FOR SOME STRANNNGGGE MATTA FAKING REASON, when I am alone in this elevator and going down to the ground floor, and someone walks in and sees ‘no buttons pressed’, guess what? They press ‘Ground’……….. …

Hey stranger. Do I look like I am some crazy elevator lady, who casually goes for endless rides in the elevator? No buttons pressed, nowhere to go? Just living the dream on my daily elevator escapades? Watching people as they come in, watching them leave. Listening to their conversations. And aggressively pressing ‘door close’ on their departure? Up. Down. Up. Down.

UM!

They press the button like as if they saved me. Like ‘Oh, are you lost? Let me take you to the ground floor. The ground floor is where you need to be. Because I know your life. You need to be on G with the rest of us.’

I stare at these people. I stare at the back of their dandruff infested heads. And sometimes I just want to blurt out ‘STOP, I PRESSED THE BUTTON ALREADY! IT JUST DOESN’T LIGHT UP! WHY DO YOU THINK I AM IN HERE??!!’ but I stop myself.

Because I am not the crazy elevator lady. Not outside my head, anyways.