What is Your Personal Worth

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What is your worth? I guarantee that the first notion of thought that entered your mind when you internalized this question was accompanied by a dollar sign. In my most recent thoughts I have found that this questions goes deeper than the depth of your pockets. Are you worthy of someone’s time, space, respect or even love?

For a long time, or I would even say for most of my life, I felt I wasn’t worthy of neither. In return the people in my environment didn’t feel as if I was worthy of it either; be it teachers, friends, peers or even family. I had degraded myself with self dialogue to the point that at the age of six I would cry & wonder if the world would miss me if I had disappeared off of the face of the earth. I felt small and insignificant, the foot of an ant could stamp on my confidence and crumble it right where I stood.

In the absence of putting a valuable price tag on my self-esteem I had allowed others in my environment to subsidized me to a value that accommodated their own agenda. This continuation of self neglect had led to a path of self destruction through doubt and perpetual negative thoughts. In the absence of defending myself, my mind inhabited frustration because I was willing to sacrifice my own feelings and peace to accommodate another’s when it is my heart that will live with the consequences.

What drove my frustration further is the fact that I was 26 years old and my sense of value was still implemented in my actions. I would short time myself when it comes to booking engagements because my mind lingers on the notion of being abandoned due to that very wait time. Shouldn’t my mind be comfortable with giving a time that accommodates me and if the person is worthy of my time would they not be there to see the engagement through.

I am worthy of TIME, I am worthy of SPACE, I am worthy of RESPECT and most of all I am worthy of LOVE. I know my love is sweet, honest and true with good intentions and God damn anyone who feels it is a doormat to be stepped upon instead of a sweet warm bed to be laid upon where affection is mine to give and receive. Look yourself in the mirror today and say:

'I am worthy.'

Justin.