Interview: Toronto's Fat As Fuck


As versatile as the word f*** itself, Fat As Fuck or F.A.F as they are often ascribed by the faint of heart and moms alike, are as f***ing unreal as the f*** that f***ed them into f***ing existence… true f***ing story.


At only four years old to date, the band had its humble beginnings jamming in basements and at parties, playing for friends and friends of friends. They went by the description “The 69 Simons street dance band“. 69 Simons Street was in fact the address that band members Nic, Tom, John, and more than occasionally Julian, were living at the time.


Since forming in October of 2010 the band has undergone a couple of member changes, some “trimming of the fat” if you will, and a number of name changes as well.  So after a couple of back and forth’s, some opposition, and naturally having to accept that the bands name may and does offend some people ‘Fat As Fuck was solidified.  So how did the band come up with the controversial name? During an outing to MacDonalds no less, which I assume is a rare occurrence for the health conscious boys.


Upon entering the fast-food restaurant they noticed that “there were just fat people all about, including us, gorging ourselves on this disgusting food, and someone said, Steve I think, said ‘that person is fat as f***!’ and we were looking for a band name at the time and we just thought that was a funny name, and the rest of the story just writes itself.” Trumpet player Tom Moffett doesn't think the name really describes the bands music at all, but with their fatty base, dripping drums, deliciously flavored guitar, full-bodied trombone, smoky drizzled sax, succulent marinated trumpet, and sizzling synthesizer­­ I would have to disagree. I guarantee that the bands juicy mouth-watering fusion will have you coming back so often for second, third and fourth helpings of deep-fried groove that even the most committed vegan or Vaguen (a vaguely or sometimes vegan) could risk becoming Fat As F***!!


When asked how they would hope a fan of their music would describe their sound to someone who has never heard their material before, the response was a definitive, “I don’t know you just have to see it. It’s a weird and fun dance-able experience with some satanic and angelic influences.  You can isolate some of our songs and call it a funk, punk, or metal song. But as a whole our sound is a little harder to fit a frame around, when it comes down to it, fun and energy are the reoccurring themes in our music. Those are our two rules.”


You can call them a psychedelic, dance, funk, electronic instrumental band and you would still fall short of encapsulating the true visceral experience their music is able to create.  F.A.F has an eccentric sound that is uniquely their own. A sound that is the culminating mish-mash of the seven members different influences including artists like John Zorn.  It’s no wonder why people often ask them “if they were on drugs during their performances or were under the influence while writing their songs” Their music has certain distinct qualities that can transport your mind and soul, not unlike the state I imagine a drug like say heroin can fabricate. So for anyone considering the transition to hard drugs, I recommend implementing a little F.A.F therapy instead.  The boys admit that since deciding to take their music seriously, rather than committing to “a two hour waste of time every week” they need to stay focused in order to execute the often complex arrangements in their music.

I was fortunate enough to listen to some of the bands new material including a three part “Suit about Krampus” and if that description both intrigues and confuses you, you’re on the right track.  The three part instrumental saga tells the story of the European folklore character Krampus.

Have you ever wondered if a fate worse than no presents under the tree awaits the nasty and naughty children at Christmas time? Well, those eccentric Europeans believed that the hairy, cloven hooved, thick horned and long pointy tongued beast would capture the really naughty children in a sack and carry them away to his lair where he would employ one of his many violent and sadistic punishments.  Lets just say Krampus makes juvenile boot camp seem like a luxury vacation, and at the very least those children live through the ordeal.


“One really cool side-effect of the costumes is sometimes when we go out for a smoke or whatever after a performance people will come up to us and they don’t know who you were, they ask oh what were you playing? It’s cool, something about that is more interesting than oh nice guitar playing or something. They don’t see the performance and say ‘oh I’m gonna’ tell that drummer he’s great,’ they say wow you guys were great, because they don’t even know what instrument you played and they don’t care, but that’s cool. It’s better to transcend those minor details like what instrument we played or what chord was that? When you make it about a bigger broader experience, that’s something.”

So what advice does the band have for anyone looking to start his or her own instrumental band? “Get into Real Estate!” says trumpet player Tom Moffett. Well that’s definitely one way to go.

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