5 Reasons Why People Grab Their Crotch

Last Monday, I was sitting against the window at the Queen Cafe, taking in the warm sunlight as I sipped on my London fog, living the above-hipster life that I do. But before I knew it, that joyous moment escalated as a handsome man in his late 20s walked by the cafe in a tailored suit wearing a charming smile.

Well groomed. Well mannered.

As he walked by he looked at me through the window, moved his right hand directly on top of his crotch and continually moved it up and down with his eyes locked on me the whole time. Of course I burst out laughing, looking like a crazy person by myself in this cafe. But then I thought "Why do people do this? What is the reason, the significance behind the crotch grab? What message is being relayed?" These are all legitimate questions.

We see it in music videos all the time, and I for one never questioned its existence till now. After some research, I have come up with 5 reasons behind the crotch grab that may change your life.

1) Protection against bad luck

The crotch grab goes back as far as the pre-Christian Roman era, where many superstitions led the lives of common folks everyday. It was believed that a covetous person can harm you, your unborn children, and everything you have, by a simple gaze and the transmittance of bad energy (same concept as the evil eye). By shielding your genitals, you are protecting your ass (-ets).


2) Sign of masculinity

It is an over-performing sign of masculinity. Grabbing the crotch as a simple reminder to those around you that "Yes! I am a man! And the proof is in my genitals right here!"


3) Means to taunt

If aware of the daunting impact a crotch grab has on the recipient it is targeting, the action can be used to taunt and purposefully disrespect an opponent.

4) Sign of reproduction capabilities

This is merely a reminder that is directed to the opposite sex. The message screams "I am aware that you are a female. I want you to know that I am interested in you sexually. These guys right here (*looks down at crotch), they are fully capable."

As a female, when you look at a man that is holding his crotch, you are subconsciously reminded of his genitals. And due to evolutionary instincts, you subconsciously consider him as a mate.

5) That s*** is itchy

People need to get themselves checked out.